The Ponderings Of A Man
by Minerva Lily Gardner
Summary: After the final battle, McGonagall rushes Harry to the Hospital Wing. There, he ponders the battle and the people who were lost. In his vulernability, he is comforted by people who he never viewed as more than teachers. ONESHOT.


**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and everything in this story belongs to JKR.**

**A/N: So, here's a post battle fic! Thanks to Miriflowers for being my beta! You're the best!**

The Ponderings Of A Man

Harry stood behind Dumbledore's desk, feeling tired and heavy hearted. He mentally scolded himself, for he should be happy that the job was done. He had defeated Voldemort. He'd been fighting for the past seven years, and finally the war was over.

Looking around the room, he noticed several changes to what once was Dumbledore's office. Snape had obviously preferred a simpler decor, for many of Dumbledore's trinkets were gone and were replaced with bare tables; the occasional book or folder placed on top. A realization hit Harry. _'This is neither Dumbledore nor Snape's office.' _ Harry smiled. This office now belonged to Minerva McGonagall. Deciding to go find Ginny, he started toward the door but it flung open before him. _'Speak of the devil.' _thought Harry, as a weary, though happy witch walked through the door. Her eyes softened considerably at the sight of him, and she took a hold of his arm gently.

"Harry, dear. Oh Harry!" Minerva exclaimed, tears starting to build up in her eyes.

"Professor McGonagall... How are you?" Harry asked quietly.

"Oh Harry dear, it should be me that is worrying about you. After all, you just saved the entire wizarding world-" At this, her voice cracked, and she wrapped her arms around him in a warm, motherly embrace; gentle tears rolling down her face. He rubbed comforting circles on her back, and hushed her sobs. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and gave him a watery smile.

"I'm sorry. It has been a long couple of years you know."

"I understand completely Professor."

"Please, call me Minerva. I am no longer your teacher."

"Alright then... Minerva." He said, squeezing her hand. Minerva did her best to put on a stern face.

"Now, I am going to escort you to the hospital wing. Come along!" she announced, holding her arm out in a gesture to the door. Harry's eyebrows furrowed.

"Wait- the hospital wing?" He asked.

"Yes Harry, the hospital wing. Please don't be difficult." She chided.

"But why? I'm not injured, and I'm sure that there are more people that need Madame Pomphrey compared to me!"

"Mr. Potter, you have just destroyed Lord V-Voldemort. I'm sure that requires a check up from Madame Pomphrey. Besides, I have made sure that Miss Granger, Mr Weasley and Miss Weasley are being looked over as well. Follow me now Harry." Harry sighed, but followed Minerva out of the office.

Walking down the corridors, a lump formed in Harry's throat. There was extensive damage to the walls and floors, and tapestries were burned and tattered. There was broken glass everywhere. He and Minerva turned into the hospital wing, where Madame Pomphrey was applying some Essence of Murtlap to a few cuts on Ron's face. Ginny, having noted Harry's arrival in the room jumped up and ran towards Harry, wrapping her arms around him tightly. He didn't hesitate in returning the gesture. She planted a kiss on his cheek and whispered fiercely in his ear.

"Don't ever leave me again... Please, don't ever leave..." He kissed her strawberry smelling hair and whispered back.

"I won't. I promise. I never want to leave your side for as long as I live." She smiled.

Madame Pomphrey, having finished with Ron's wounds, came busting over to Harry. Ginny released him as Madame Pomphrey started to fuss over him, casting multiple spells; one of which he knew was _'episkey'_; he hadn't known he'd broken a toe!

Sitting there on the hospital bed, Harry thought back to the people he knew had died that night. Five people came to his mind specifically. Remus Lupin. Nymphadora Tonks. Fred Weasley. Colin Creevey. Severus Snape. He did not feel any less sorry that anyone else died, but these five hit him the hardest.

Remus and Tonks' death was a huge blow. He felt a huge surge of sympathy for their newly born son, Teddy. He felt a strange sense of déjà vu when thinking of the baby, for he was like that at such a young age. Teddy Lupin's parents were gone. He was alone in the world, just like Harry was at one point. _ 'No, don't think like that. You are there for him. You will be a better God Father than Sirius. You will always be there for him.' _ He thought. It wasn't fair that such a new couple, so in love, just having children together, had such a short time to cultivate their love. At least they had Teddy, a great symbol of their love that knew no bounds.

Fred's death was the most tragic, because it could have been prevented. If only he and Percy could have been somewhere else in the castle! Harry looked over at Ron, who had teary eyes and a pale face. Hermione was quietly crying into his shoulder. It was hard to imagine life without Fred; George had lost a twin, the Weasley's had lost a son and brother, Harry had lost a friend. Or a brother; both really. George would have to run Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes by himself, if he decided to run it at all. Indeed, Fred Weasley's death would be hard, but he couldn't do anything about it. He knew that he'd just have to get on with life, and when the time came for him to move on (yes, he knew the time would come), he knew he would always remember Fred Weasley.

Mentally, Harry was berating himself for not treating Colin with more kindness. He had never fully appreciated when Colin had said 'Hey Harry!' The boy was only sixteen! He hadn't even had time to live yet! Colin was much too young to die, and he had left a little brother and a father alone. All the boy had wanted was to help end the war, but he had died in the process. Harry had made sure that he had not died in vain.

But if Harry felt guilty about anyone's death, it was Severus Snape's. Six years of memories filled Harry's head, along with hatred. But that hatred was quickly replaced with admiration, regret and an overwhelming sense of guilt. Snape was a spy! He spent the last seventeen years of his life helping the order; helping Harry. And all out of love for Lily Evans. Harry imagined the pain Snape must have felt, knowing the love of his life had married one of his worst enemies. He now understood why the professor had had trouble being around him; he was the spitting image of James Potter, the boy who had tormented him for seven years, with the exact eyes of Lily Evans, the girl he had loved since he first saw her at the age of eleven.

Tears started to build up in Harry's eyes. He quickly wiped them away, but not quick enough.

"Harry... Its okay you know. You can cry." Hermione said gently, leaving Ron's side and sitting beside Harry. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"How is it okay Hermione? I know Voldemort is dead, but so are plenty others!" He said, his voice cracking. It was at this point that Minerva piped up again.

"They did not die in vain Harry. You know that. For your sake, try to live. Carry on, but keep them in your heart. Dumbledore would have wanted that."

"She's right you know." Added Madame Pomphrey. "You have been through so much, but Dumbledore would not have wanted you to blame yourself."

"But-how did you-" Harry spluttered. Madame Pomphrey and Minerva exchanged knowing looks.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve dear boy. You always have." Madame Pomphrey smiled. So did Minerva.

"I remember your first year here. The three of you were so convinced that Severus was going to try to steal the Philosopher's Stone, but I told you it was safe. Of course, you went to save it anyway. That was always you three. If there was a problem, you were going to fix it, and not rely on anyone else." Minerva said, walking towards Harry. "We all owe you so much. Your whole life you have been doing whatever it takes to make the wizarding world safe. That goes for Mr Weasley and Miss Granger as well. But you're not done yet. There is still one more thing to do." Harry, Hermione and Ron exchanged confused looks, and Minerva laughed softly.

"Live, children. And in the name of Albus Dumbledore, stay out of trouble for the rest of your lives!" At that everyone laughed.

"Trust me Minerva," Harry said "We've had enough trouble to last a lifetime."

THE END


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